Friendships are meant to be based on mutual support and understanding. But what happens when they start to take a toll on your emotional well-being? I never thought I would have to leave my closest friend of many years, but I had to make the hard decision to put my mental health first and take care of myself. This is the sad narrative of my life.

The friendship that turned toxic.
“Hello, readers of Bright Side! My name is Josh, and I have something that I want to say. I am not sure whether what I did was right or wrong, but it seemed like the proper thing to do at the time. But now, I’m not so certain.

Rachel, my buddy, is always whining about her life. Because her partner of seven years suffers from anxiety and is unable to work, she needs to labor around the clock to pay for her living expenses. Even while I felt sorry for her position, it was tiring to hear about it all the time without any indication that it was getting better.

Josh also mentions, “In an attempt to be helpful, I sent her some job links that were ideal for someone dealing with anxiety, hoping that her boyfriend would be able to find something manageable and ease her burden.” However, Rachel did not appreciate the gesture. Instead, she informed our common acquaintances that I was “trying to make her boyfriend get a job” and labeled me “horrible” for doing so.

“I had the feeling that my attempts to help her were met with hostility before.” Whenever I attempted to discuss my own life and relationship, Rachel would take over the discussion and redirect it back to her never-ending tale of suffering.

“When I got a new job, the one I had always dreamed of, it was the last straw. I was so excited to tell my closest buddy the good news. However, before I could even continue my statement, Rachel interrupted me with something that utterly surprised me. She said, “I can’t believe you’re talking about a dream job when I’m stuck in a dead-end job that I can’t quit.”

It was at that time that I understood how unbalanced our relationship had become. Her continual criticism and her unwillingness to assist me in return were having a negative impact on my mental well-being. I made the decision to stop communicating with her in order to safeguard my emotional well-being.

I never expected to be betrayed.

A week later, I was shocked to learn that she had betrayed my trust. Rachel had been telling our common acquaintances falsehoods about me, claiming that I was a monster who “abandoned her in her darkest hour.” She distorted the truth about my activities, saying that I was envious of her relationship and wished to interfere in their lives.

She even went so far as to tell others that I was attempting to make her boyfriend owe me a favor by pressuring him into getting a job. To make things worse, she revealed personal truths that I had confided in her, twisting them to make me appear terrible and complicated things between me and my partner.

I had faith in Rachel for many years, but in the end, she turned on me. That stung profoundly, but it also helped me ultimately move away from her. Some friendships may be too poisonous to save, regardless of how long you have known one other.

I selected myself, even if it was difficult. I established boundaries and would no longer allow her manipulation and negativity to control my life. By walking away, I was able to concentrate on my mental health and give precedence to relationships that provide me happiness and support.

Since then, she has been attempting to get in touch with me and has been apologizing. Do you think I should give her another chance? Or at the at least, pay attention to what she has to say?

Josh, I appreciate you sharing your personal experience with us. Friendships that are one-sided may be difficult, and you shouldn’t feel bad for prioritizing your emotional well-being. We have some recommendations that may assist you in dealing with the circumstance that lies ahead:

Evaluate her apology: Consider if Rachel’s apology seems sincere or not. Does she accept responsibility for her acts, or does it seem that she is trying to justify them? You are not required to reply or forgive her if it does not seem sincere.

Decide on boundaries: If you choose to respond, be clear about what you’re comfortable with. Make sure she understands what is appropriate in your future encounters.

Communicate on your terms: Respond through text or email if you’re not ready for a phone call or face-to-face meeting. This lets you control the conversation and take time to process her words.

Go at your own speed: If you want to reconnect, begin with something little. Keep conversations light and observe whether she’s making real changes in her behavior. If reconnecting feels harmful or stressful, it’s okay to let go. You can acknowledge her apology without resuming the friendship.

A woman previously wrote to us, explaining why she stopped supporting her retired mom, wondering if her actions were justified.

By Anna

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