Housework and motherhood are labor, no question about it.
One day, Amber Egan came up with the idea to create a cheeky TikTok in which she calculated the worth of her employment as a stay-at-home mother. Egan thinks that her husband supports her as a mother of three, but she wanted to spread the word to other mothers who may feel that their hard work is overlooked and undervalued.
Egan breaks out how much her services would cost if she charged for them in the video. The breakdown is as follows: Twenty dollars for each load of dishes, two to three times a day, five days a week; thirty-five dollars for each load of laundry, four times a week; sixty dollars for each bathroom, each clean, twice a week; one hundred dollars for floor cleaning, two to three times a day, five days a week; eight hundred dollars for homeschool tuition; one hundred and fifty dollars for each child’s weekly pick-up and drop-off; seventy-five dollars for weekly grocery shopping; fifty dollars for a personal chef for lunch and dinner, which is equivalent to ten times a week; two hundred dollars for breastfeeding; and ten dollars for daily sweeps roughly five times a week. Weekly labor costs for all of these chores add up to $2,700.
She tells PEOPLE exclusively that the goal is to raise awareness of the emotional and physical work that stay-at-home mothers do without being paid, rather than to embarrass spouses.
“I wanted to make it so stay-at-home moms could feel seen and then also know that just because you’re not bringing home a paycheck, that doesn’t mean that you’re not doing work that’s valuable at the same time,” Egan says. “I want to tell moms that just because you’re not getting money does not mean you’re not doing something that provides a lot of value to somebody.”
Just three months ago, Egan gave birth to her youngest kid. Like the majority of stay-at-home mothers, she deals with a lot of the same emotional and physical strain. “You believe that spending all day with your children is a benefit of being a stay-at-home mother. Like, “Oh, it’s not hard to cook, do the dishes, and do the laundry.” “That’s a lot of things,” she replies. “You also need to factor in the mental strain. It is conceivable that you may remain postpartum for years after giving birth, rather than simply a few months. That alone is very important, particularly when it comes to losing one’s sense of self.
@amberaudrey_96 How I’m able to be the breadwinner as a stay at home mom. This is just what works for us 🤷🏻♀️ #sahmsoftiktok #sahmtok #stayathomemom #stayathomemomlife #stayathomemoms #breadwinner #sahmomsbelike #sahmjobs #sahmjob ♬ original sound – Amber Audrey ✨
In the end, Egan’s video received 4.6 million views and became viral. Although many of the individuals in her comments understood her right away and offered support, she went on record to state that her video was meant to be humorous.
“This was a total farce. I didn’t even check the date, so it wasn’t intended to be an April Fool’s prank. I simply thought of it,” Egan adds. “I told my spouse that I found it amusing. Fortunately, my spouse did not instigate it. He is fantastic, terrific, and everything nice. The whole thing was a total farce. He treats me well, so I don’t have to bill him for my services.”
All of the psychological and physical effects of parenthood are shown in Egan’s video. She highlights the loneliness that stay-at-home mothers may have while caring for their kids in an interview with PEOPLE. She also offers advise on how she manages to maintain her composure in the face of turmoil.
“Being a stay-at-home mother causes you to lose a part of yourself and may be quite alienating. I advise other mothers to locate a source of stability. Every day, I listen to Chris Stapleton. I come back to life because of him. I feel like Amber when I do it, and that’s my thing. I am not this, I am not that, I am not a mother, I am not a wife. “When I listen to that music, I am myself,” Egan says. “I encourage other stay-at-home moms that feel like they’ve lost a little piece of themselves to find something small that grounds you and says ‘This is me as an individual, and this is who I am.'”
Egan reaffirmed her desire to draw attention to the amount of work that mothers who choose to remain at home do. Although she can identify when others lack the same support system as her, she finds that having a wonderful and encouraging spouse helps to reduce some of her stress.
“You are still doing important labor to your home even if you are not bringing in a wage. “It’s easier for me to be able to speak out on other issues as well because my husband is supportive,” Egan adds. “Oh, I’ve won the lottery, and I can now enjoy it much more. Thinking about how not everyone understands this might also help you get perspective. It enhances one’s capacity to discuss the circumstance.